Surviving the Truth
by Twilight Fang
Summary: Hakkai and Gojyo get separated from the others and are forced to admit to certain truths about their mutual attraction. Hakkai x Gojyo [yaoi]
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Surviving the truth  
Author: Twilight Fang**

Disclaimer: Saiyuki belongs to whatever company owns the rights to it. I'm not quite sure which company that might be… but this fanfic has been written for entertainment purposes only. No profits are being made. The story itself and any original content belong to me.  
This fanfic was actually written several years ago. I just recently found it and decided to finish it.

**Note: If reading about Hakkai x Gojyo interacting with each other in an intimate fashion offends you – or if yaoi isn't your thing – please avoid this story.**

**And I'd appreciate feedback if you have the time. Thanks!**

* * *

**Part 1**

"Zzzz, buns… noodles… yum…" Untrimmed nails scratched through a thick nest of hair. The shaggy mop ensnared those fingers in a mass of knots while a sleeping Goku tried in vain to get them out. He rolled over onto his side, practically foaming at the mouth as his dreamlike fantasy continued.

A low overhanging branch belted into the jeep's front windshield, being pushed back until it was released. It then snapped forward like a slingshot, missing Hakkai and Sanzo in the front seats - because they had seen it coming - but it swung over them to thump Goku in the forehead as he dozed.

"ITAI!" Goku yelped.

"Baka-saru!" Gojyo shouted from beside the young menace, kicking at Goku's shins for the rude awakening.

Twin golden eyes flashed at Gojyo in a rage. The little hellion let out a half hiss/snarl as he dove in for Gojyo, snatching up a handful of long red hair. "Ero-kappa!"

"Temee! Don't mess with my hair!"

Grinning his wickedest, Goku gave his prize a nice sharp tug.

"Oww! Dammit!" Gojyo felt some hairs come loose and nearly went berserk upon seeing a fistful of his glorious tresses in Goku's upturned palm.

Taunting Gojyo further, Goku growled and the redhead hissed out a challenge; the two of them coiled in preparation for a really _big_ attack.

"Shut the _FUCK_ up!" Sanzo swung around in his seat, leveling the barrel of his gun between them. A cold metallic cavity stared at Gojyo and Goku, daring them to make Sanzo's trigger finger itch. "Keep it up and I'll kill you both."

"But… he started it, Sanzo," Goku whined like a faithful puppy, trying to shift the entire blame onto the older boy.

"Did not! He tried to eat my hand," Gojyo yelled. He haughtily folded his arms across his chest and began to pout.

"I was having a dream about food, kappa!" Goku explained, passing it off as a lame apology. Why should he say he was sorry to Gojyo when he really wasn't? Besides, the redhead really didn't taste very good.

"Doesn't your keeper feed you enough as it is? That's no excuse for biting me, baka-saru." Shallow teeth indentations couldn't contract rabies, or could they? Gojyo wondered if Goku had received all of his shots from whatever pet store Sanzo had picked him up at.

"Ne, Sanzo, when are we going to eat? I'm hungry." Goku pretended as if Gojyo had never spoken, dismissing the argument as old news. His top priority had always been, and would never fail to be, his stomach.

"URUSAI!" Whacking Goku alongside the head with his fan for good measure, Sanzo repositioned himself so that he wouldn't have to look at the two upstarts anymore.

While driving and keeping one eye on the road, Hakkai laughed good-naturedly at the fuss his companions were making. "Maa maa, you should save your energy for later. At this rate, we'll need to camp out tonight before we reach the next town."

The pathway that Hakkai had chosen was enshrouded in rough terrain woven into a net of wayward tree branches, tall prickly weeds, and furnished with a bed of rocks. Their makeshift roadway was seriously putting a hamper on their speed and there were numerous obstacles along the way that delayed them further.

A mauve veil was already extending over the sky as evening approached from beyond the horizon. Very quickly, the filtered sunrays that pierced through the tall trees in patches of oranges and yellows dissipated. Then, they were gone altogether.

Despite losing their only source of overhead lighting, Gojyo and Goku paid no attention to that minor detail. They chose to act as any backseat passengers would in their situation. Bickering, shoving, and uncensored foul language shook the backend of the little green jeep the second that Sanzo's back was turned.

"Sanzo, I don't want to camp out." Goku took another swipe at Gojyo, laughing when the redhead punched at him… and missed. Only to curse bloody murder when that fist curved around to make friends with his nose. "Red-haired pervert river boy!" He stomped on Gojyo's foot, laughing afterwards because he'd scuffed one of the leather boots. "There's no food here."

"Whatever you're doing back there… stop it _NOW_!" Who the hell in the high heavens had arranged for Sanzo to live out his life as a monk? Smoking and drinking was one thing but literally threatening people with a gun was entirely different. Sanzo failed - on every occasion - to set a good example as a monk. He proved this again by peering behind him with the gun lending accuracy to his eyesight. If he caught those two acting up again…

However, it turned out that Sanzo was quite disappointed to discover Gojyo and Goku at opposite ends of the jeep. Appearances could be deceiving, and those two really knew how to fake a peace treaty. Their honorable behavior was so convincing that one might imagine golden halos above their heads.

"Brrr, it's chilly." Gojyo fished a pack of cigarettes out from one pocket, tapping one out and holding it between two fingers. He raised an eyebrow when Sanzo inconspicuously copied him from the front seat. If he dared to take credit for thinking of the idea first, Sanzo would beat him with either the fan or the gun. And sometimes the fan could be a great deal more painful than the gun. Choosing to keep quiet, Gojyo leaned back to enjoy his smoke.

"How can you say that after so much exercise?" Hakkai teased.

"Correcting Goku's bad behavioral habits isn't exercise, it's work."

Goku sat there, sulking, angry about something but not really being able to remember what.

The fog, as thick as pea soup, began to settle near the ground, persuading Hakkai to flick on the high beams. Encountering any other vehicles on this path would be incredibly rare but he hadn't wanted to risk blinding anything in their path. Such unpredictable weather hadn't been in the forecast for today but neither had they anticipated getting lost in a forest. And they were pretty much lost.

"Hmm…"

"What?" Sanzo asked Hakkai, sounding a tad bit annoyed. He hated Hakkai's calm apathy whenever they were inconvenienced and felt very uncertain over the man's mental state of mind. Anyone who laughed in the face of danger and offered a polite greeting to the enemy had to be unbalanced. But Hakkai had always proved to be a reliable and adequate companion so Sanzo continued to trust him. That also meant not questioning why Hakkai acted so peculiar. If anyone had even a fraction of insight into Hakkai's character, it had to be Gojyo, and that man kept secrets with a card shark's grin.

"I think that we're on a bridge."

Was that a positive or negative indication? With Hakkai's random musings, Sanzo could never be quite sure. He glanced back to see how Gojyo was reacting to the oddness but couldn't discern much in the gray regions marking up his eyesight. Damn fog!

From beneath them, the jeep's tires picked up a rhythmic _thump - thump_ motion, causing something to rattle. By that time, it was also too dark to see what they had run over, never mind avoid it or reverse directions.

"Oi, Sanzo, what was that?"

"Can Hakuryuu navigate on here?" Sanzo asked, brushing off Goku's constant pestering.

Hakkai was about to reply but clutched the steering wheel instead when the jeep lurched to one side. The fog thickened around them as the jeep swayed back and forth, Hakuryuu _kyuu_-ing miserably in his vehicle form.

"Don't tell me that the bridge is unstable," Gojyo complained, gripping the headrest of Hakkai's seat, his cigarette still pursed between his lips.

"I guess that I won't tell you then." Hakkai glanced back to give Gojyo a nervous grin before flooring the accelerator. "Gomen Hakuryuu. We need to get off of this bridge before it--."

Suddenly, a bulk of weight flew out from the fog, missed Sanzo, and knocked Hakkai out of the jeep. He cried out, tumbling over the side of the bridge's roped railing, barely able to catch one of the rotting floorboards with his fingers on his way down.

"HAKKAI!" Gojyo leapt out of the jeep, heedless of his own safety, and started to feel around blindly in the murky blackness.

"Gojyo! Get back in the jeep!"

"Like hell!" He ignored Hakkai's warning, pinpointing where he'd heard the voice to make a general swipe in that direction. His hand brushed Hakkai's but he couldn't reach far enough. "Hold on!"

"Hakkai! Gojyo!" Goku called out. But the jeep and its occupants were now invisible to both Hakkai and Gojyo.

"Stay where you are," Sanzo commanded, obviously getting out of the jeep.

"I've got… huh? What's this?" Gojyo grasped onto a cold and fleshy appendage, afraid to pull back in case that it was indeed Hakkai, but common sense told him otherwise. "Hakkai?"

"Wrong!" The hand reversed its grip to yank Gojyo off-balance, sending him airborne over the bridge and into Hakkai. Two screams echoed down the cavern as Hakkai and Gojyo plunged into the abyss.

**To be continued****…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: If you missed the warning on the 1****st**** chapter, here is your chance to RUN away if you are not fond of reading yaoi… Hakkai x Gojyo. **

**Please leave feedback if you enjoyed reading this. Thanks!**

Parts 3 and 4 are finished but need serious editing from years of neglect.

**xxxx**

**Part 2**

Seconds dragged into minutes and gave the illusion that they had been freefalling for hours even. It seemed to take forever for them to impact with the ground. Air whipped by them and the occasional cloud of fog exploded into mist as they crashed through it. Luckily they had fallen from the center of the bridge otherwise a pile of rocks on either side might have broken their falls - and ended their lives.

Instead of hard dirt, Hakkai and Gojyo crashed into a frigid lake, sinking for an indeterminate amount of time before they were able to react.

Hakkai swam upwards, frantically kicking his legs and guiding with his arms until he broke the surface. He greedily drank in a mouthful of cool oxygen, panting and shivering from the brisk water temperature.

"Gojyo!" It was much clearer down here, with less fog and a decent sprinkling of moonlight across the water's surface.

Hakkai maneuvered around in circles, treading water with his legs and balancing with his arms. He turned around again but could see no sign of his friend.

"GOJYO!"

Extremely worried now, Hakkai dove back under, keeping his eyes wide open to search for his friend in the inky green depths. Long red strands of what could have been seaweed caught his attention. He swam over to the bright tendrils that floated above a limp figure. Gojyo was unconscious by the looks of it, his mouth was open and precious oxygen drained from what little he had left. In a swift, efficient manner, Hakkai linked one arm about Gojyo's torso and towed him out of the water.

By the time that Hakkai had Gojyo on the mushy dirt that surrounded the lake his teeth were chattering so badly that he thought his rescue effort was in vain. There was no way he'd be able to give Gojyo artificial resuscitation in his condition - not effectively.

However, Gojyo surprised him by choking suddenly and rolling over to cough up the water from his lungs. There was no need for mouth-to-mouth after all!

"Gojyo! Are you alright?" Hakkai practically beamed as he watched his friend turn onto his side… and then go still. "It's not nice to scare people like that," he chided, rubbing his hands together in the hopes of recapturing some of his circulation. Dead silence. "Gojyo?" The redhead didn't speak but he did start to twitch, and that escalated into violent trembling. Before long, Gojyo looked as if he might have a seizure.

Renewed with a desperate surge of energy, Hakkai dropped to his knees to observe Gojyo's blue tinged skin and dilated pupils. He was going into shock.

"Please don't do this to me." Hakkai grabbed Gojyo underneath his arms and dragged him a good distance from the water, to where a low outcropping of rocks would shield them from the elements. He ran off to collect a mass of dry twigs and branches, moving so fast that he could hardly catch his breath afterwards. Once the pile was of a substantial size, he focused his ki onto the pile of kindling, releasing a small ball of spiritual energy at it. Immediately, it set on fire, cackling to a healthy roar within the blink of an eye.

"Everything will be fine," Hakkai reassured Gojyo, although a glint of uneasiness had entered his expression.

Memories prodded at Hakkai's mind and deceived his eyes. They were both soaking wet and burdened with sodden clothes. Gojyo's long hair appeared dark brown, plastered to his face in soggy streaks. His honey-tanned skin was now overcast by a porcelain-white shade. And his eyes were so hazy with fright and confusion that they could have passed for any color. Such lovely long dark eyelashes. Hakkai gazed into those beautiful, enchanting eyes… only to discover that no matter what the lighting, they were still red - a sweet sunset red that were accentuated by Gojyo's darker shade of hair. _Kanan_. No - Kanan's eyes had been green. This was _not_ Kanan! This was Gojyo!

To see Gojyo lying there… senseless… drenched to the bone and shaking so dramatically - it tore at Hakkai's closed-off heart.

No colors stood out on Gojyo's pale visage. He wheezed on each breath his abused lungs took in.

"H--Hakkai… c--cold…," Gojyo managed to say, fearing that he would not receive any help because his friend's eyes had taken on a dangerous glare.

"I know." Hurrying back to Gojyo, Hakkai wrestled away his inner demons to give Gojyo his full attention. First he made sure that the alcove they hid under would protect them from a storm if one came. It would be unfortunate if Sanzo and Goku were to come looking for them only to miss them in this hideout but nothing could be done about it. Then he checked the heat emanating from the flames of the fire he'd produced and was satisfied that it would last an hour at least. That gave him plenty of time to administer first aid to Gojyo.

What was the proper method for dealing with someone who might be suffering from hypothermia? For one thing, he had to keep Gojyo semi-alert and comfort him, Hakkai knew that much.

"I'll have you warm in no time," he said with a smile that froze and distorted into a mock grin. He didn't want to discourage Gojyo but Hakkai wasn't feeling very supportive. What was he supposed to do? The fire wasn't warming Gojyo enough and the damp clothing was no doubt seeping into the man's bloodstream. If he trembled any harder, he just might break apart.

Dammit! 

Gojyo's eyelids wavered and then slid shut.

"Oh dear, Gojyo please keep your eyes open."

Realizing that he had no other alternative, Hakkai began to efficiently strip Gojyo of his clothing. He started with the blue vest, easing it off of Gojyo's shoulders and discarding it on the ground. The white shirt underneath had to be torn off; it was just easier that way. And then off came the belt through the loops, and finally the pants. Hakkai used the clothing as a sheet for the ground; it may have been uncomfortable to lie on the material but at least Gojyo was no longer bundled up in it.

"Gojyo, are you listening to me?"

Hakkai gently slapped Gojyo's cheek, reaching down to remove the last article of clothing from that quivering body. It just so happened that Gojyo's gray briefs were all that remained. He pulled the clingy material down Gojyo's long legs, pausing for a moment as his cheeks flushed scarlet. This was the first time that he'd ever seen Gojyo completely naked, not to mention at such an intimate proximity. He casually noted that Gojyo's red haired color scheme continued below the waistline before he took on the task of restoring the man's lost body heat. Staring at Gojyo's legs, he began to rub his hands firmly into the cold flesh, feeling a bit of a tingle from the fire he'd created. When he looked up, he thought that he spotted a flash of crimson on Gojyo's face. Hakkai could understand the redhead's discomfort; this must definitely the first time that Gojyo had been undressed by another man.

"Gojyo, I have an idea."

"Hn?"

"Why don't you tell me about the last date that you went on?" That ought to distract him!

"N--nothing to t--tell." Gojyo's long eyelashes fluttered and his muscles began to clench and unclench, jerking spasmodically thanks to the sheet of ice that had invaded his body.

Hakkai leaned over to shake Gojyo by his shoulders. "Come now, you must have a story to share."

"Iie… n--no story… n--no woman."

This was getting them nowhere. Gojyo would soon pass out and Hakkai didn't feel so great dripping from head to toe. He made a hasty decision then, tearing off his own clothes to lay them out by the fire. He lay next to Gojyo - without a piece of cloth between them. "I don't believe that you went out on a date and didn't come back with a story," Hakkai sighed, pressing the entire length of his body against Gojyo's with no prior warning.

"Ahhh!" Gojyo tensed, his eyes widening in disbelief as Hakkai's arms slid around him, enveloping him a tight embrace. "W--what the f--fuck are you doing?"

"Sharing what little body heat we have left. I doubt that Sanzo and Goku will find us before late in the morning and in your condition, you might develop pneumonia." Hakkai said this matter-of-factly, his hands massaging Gojyo's back in firm circular motions. "I apologize if this embarrasses you but there isn't anything dry to… oh, how shall I put this? Nothing to cover the essentials." He smiled sheepishly at his own choice of words.

"Who's embarrassed?" Gojyo asked huffily. Getting all worked up over Hakkai's indecent liberties had expended what remained of his resistance. So Gojyo was helpless to do anything other than accept what Hakkai was offering. The other man wasn't cold now, only clammy, and that still felt better than no comfort at all. Actually, Hakkai's plan was not only feasible; it was the only logical solution. What better way to combine their body heat than by direct physical contact?

Would Hakkai ever stop his mothering? Gojyo kind of liked Hakkai's compassionate and nurturing personality; it reminded him of attributes that his own mother had lacked.

Ever since his mother's death, Gojyo had gone on a private quest to find a woman that could give him the love that his mother hadn't thought him worthy of receiving. For any regular man, that might have been a very simple and easy mission. Gojyo was very handsome, beautiful even, and he possessed a spark within him that others were attracted to. But for Gojyo - living the life of a half human, half Youkai forbidden child - finding someone that would love him was impossible.

Nobody could possibly love a cursed man with hair the color of blood and eyes just as demonic.

Sometimes, Gojyo felt a curtain lift from his heart whenever Hakkai looked at him and smiled. It was just unfortunate that Hakkai happened to be a man because he was not interested in men. And he'd be damned if anything ever changed his sexual disposition.

"I think that you aren't at risk of going into shock again," Hakkai announced cheerfully. "Although you may discover that you're too tired to function properly."

A piercing scream echoed from the north, eliciting a different kind of shivering from Gojyo. If anything were to come upon them in the night, how could he possibly defend himself? And what of Hakkai? He was useless like this! Utterly a waste of flesh!

"Why don't you try to get some rest?" Hakkai suggested.

"D--didn't you h--hear it?" Gojyo asked, clamping his mouth shut to will his teeth to stop chattering.

"I'll stay awake so you have nothing to fear."

"You c--can't! You're t--tired t--too."

"You'd be surprised at how resistant one can become when he needs to protect something of value to him," Hakkai responded in a tone that spoke of delusion and an old weariness. The massage that he'd been giving Gojyo moved lower, those nimble fingers digging into the soft flesh at the base of his spine. His smile faded when Gojyo stifled a moan and curled up against his chest, using him as a pillow. He wondered if Gojyo had deliberately misinterpreted the meaning behind his words or had chosen to ignore them. This was putting him in a very awkward position - literally. To have Gojyo in his arms, so vulnerable, incapable of any defense. Why did he harbor these feelings of desire for his friend? Was he trying to replace Kanan?

_No_. That didn't make any sense because Gojyo was nothing like Kanan. From Gojyo's gender, personality, bad attitude… all the way down to his choice in clothing, there was nothing to link Hakkai's former girlfriend with his yearning for Gojyo.

"Gojyo?"

"Yeah?" Gojyo asked groggily, his shivering had minimized and his muscles relaxed wherever Hakkai touched him. His gaze was fixated on the dancing flames of the fire, watching the shadows that they cast onto the alcove's stony wall.

If it hadn't been for Hakkai's extraordinary abilities, neither of them would have survived under such inhospitable conditions. There was no food, no fresh water to drink, and their garments were ruined. Add exhaustion from a recent battle onto that list and the odds of them making it through the night decreased. Predators stalked these lands - lethal monsters, and the evil that lived in men's hearts. Hakkai's powers would be needed to keep Gojyo safe and free from illness.

"You're incredibly tense."

"I wonder why," Gojyo muttered sarcastically.

"Are you still cold?"

"Kind of."

Hakkai eased Gojyo closer, nearly melding their bodies together as the warmth increased. Gojyo sighed and closed his eyes, instinctively satisfied by the nourishing heat and the touch of soft flesh against his own.

"Better?" 

"Aa."

The weird noises quieted down for a time, allowing Hakkai to honestly contemplate his situation. They were alone. They were very seldom left alone together and there were things that Hakkai wanted to ask Gojyo. He couldn't have wished for a more private or secluded location to finally quell his curiosity.

**To be continued…**


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Surviving the truth

**Please leave feedback if you enjoyed reading this. Thanks!**

I wrote this a few years ago and when going back into edit it, I discovered that the writing was too difficult to edit. So in order to save myself the agony of re-writing 10 pages, I left it as is. I'm not happy with the writing or the content but I REALLY appreciated the kind feedback so I'm going to post it anyway.

**xxxx**

**Part 3**

Quite a while passed once the noises of the night had quieted down. And yet, Gojyo still had not settled off to sleep. The reason why Hakkai knew this was because the redhead continued to fidget in his arms. It was unfortunate really. Unfortunate for Gojyo because Hakkai still had unanswered questions on his mind.

"Gojyo, are you…?"

"…awake?" Gojyo finished for him. "Yeah, I just can't get my brain to shut up or shut down," he sighed miserably.

"Goyjo, have you ever… anou…?"

"Have I ever what?"

Hakkai tapped one finger to his lips thoughtfully, continuing to rub at Gojyo's right arm with his free hand.

"… been with a man?"

A dead silence met Hakkai as he listened for any sort of reaction. The sound of crickets in the far-off distance was the only reminder that they were indeed alive, and maybe also the crackling fire that bathed their bodies in an eerie orange glow.

When Gojyo finally did answer, he did so by propping himself up on one elbow so that he could look Hakkai in the eyes. Hakkai's right eye could not see as well as his left thanks to the damage that he had inflicted on it, and he had lost his monocle to the bottom of the lake, but the intensity of Gojyo's gaze was not lost on him.

"Why?"

"Oh… no reason!" Hakkai laughed nervously.

"But you asked."

"So I did." Hakkai summoned up a great amount of courage to press the issue. "A few of our enemies have teased us… they think that we're a married couple. I was just wondering what you thought about that… and men."

Gojyo uneasily lay back down, concentrating harder on where Hakkai's hands were and _what_ they were doing.

Speaking seriously now, Hakkai hooked a finger underneath Gojyo's chin to look him square in the face. "You flirt with me… and I flirt back. We both say things. I want to know if there is any meaning behind it."

"Hakkai?"

"Yes?"

"Is that why you're…," Gojyo chewed on his lower lip, now oblivious to the numb throbbing that meant his blood was circulating at a healthier pace, "… _hard_?"

"I'm _what_?" Hakkai squeaked, looking down in horror to see that his very aroused flesh was poking into Gojyo's belly. His extremities might be too fatigued to move but his libido didn't give a damn either way. Even his own mortification couldn't dissuade his erection and this shamed him further. Regardless of these negative emotions, the pleasurable sensation of being so close to Gojyo made Hakkai's lust increase. "We have to conserve our body heat," he changed the subject quickly.

"Ch'! Like this?"

"Are you really only into women?" He hadn't meant to continue down that road but he expected an answer, something that would deter him from having these thoughts again. All he needed to hear was Gojyo yell in outrage and announce how women were the center of his universe. Anything but what came out of Gojyo's mouth.

"It's conditional."

"Do you mean that you've _changed_ your preference? Or was it always a sham?"

"I'm going to sleep now."

"That was a very cryptic answer, Gojyo. I think that I deserve more than that."

"Why? When you're still… _there_… _like that_!" Gojyo retaliated, implying Hakkai's erection that the other man no longer bothered to deny. "I'm cold… and hungry… and I'm beginning to sound like that baka-saru! I can't deal with this - not now."

"But--."

"I'm cold," he pleaded, his voice eerily soft and strained.

"Okay, I'll drop the subject for now."

Nearly an hour passed before Hakkai felt the fire begin to die down and Gojyo's shivering returned. Hakkai eased his arm out from underneath Gojyo's body, wiggling the circulation back into his fingers. He gathered up enough of his ki to stoke the fire again, sighing when it puffed up a bit higher.

"No more juice?" Gojyo murmured, watching the brunette from the shadows of the fire.

"Saa… I must have expended too much energy." He sank back down to reposition Gojyo in his arms.

"Saving me?"

Hakkai laughed gingerly at that. "You flatter yourself, Gojyo. Saving you was the easy part."

"Oh?"

"Keeping you alive is the hard part," he added on a more severe note.

"I'm alive now."

"Yes, so you are."

"Then what's so hard about keeping me alive?"

"It doesn't matter. Just go to sleep."

"Hakkai? I must not be very attractive to you," Gojyo teased with a smirk on his face. He was already becoming accustomed to feeling Hakkai's heat all around him, and the heartbeat against his chest was almost familiar now. This was pleasant. He hated to admit it but he didn't mind Hakkai's affection as much as he claimed to.

"Nani?"

"Your _interest_ didn't last very long," he elaborated, giggling at his own joke. His fatigued state was truly taking over for him to be taking his predicament so lightly.

Hakkai promptly swatted Gojyo's bare ass, grinning like a wicked youkai when his friend yelped. "If I weren't so cold, nothing could have _deflated_ my _interest_," he explained with his typical casual flair.

"I'm warmer now. And if I'm warm, then you should also be--."

"_Please_, close your eyes and get some rest," Hakkai begged. He wasn't so sure that he could take anymore of Gojyo's playful seduction. He knew by instinct what Gojyo's behavior meant. The redhead was obviously very turned on either because of the stress or his habitual urge for nurturing. Hakkai could ease both of those things but he would not take advantage of his friend, no matter how much he wanted to. "An hour ago you were acting squeamish over my sexual state and now you're-- _mmph_!"

Although Gojyo's mind was opposed to the idea, his body wasn't; he still managed to shut Hakkai up with a kiss. Hell knows why he did it! But the next thing he knew, Hakkai was caressing his face and kissing him back. This wasn't the rough and hungry display of sexual desire that Gojyo had been expecting. It was soft and gentle, and Hakkai had the patience to take it slow and savor the moment.

Slowly, as if needing permission, Hakkai pushed his tongue past Gojyo's lips, his heart pounding with excitement when he met no resistance. Their tongues slid against one another in Gojyo's mouth, his eyes squeezing tightly shut, feeling only the sensations - hot molten pleasure. Hakkai's tongue was slippery and skilled, exploring and quickly becoming aggressive. Hakkai sucked on Gojyo's lower lip, nipping it lightly before thrusting his tongue back inside, listening to the redhead's breath catch in his throat. Gojyo tasted sweet with a trace of spiciness and Hakkai angled in deeper to lap up that flavor, marveling at the unique taste.

"Mmm," Gojyo whimpered.

Beside them, the fire wavered again but Hakkai didn't pause to rekindle it. He withdrew from Gojyo's mouth with his lips wet and teeth clenched. He ought to stop. This wasn't right. Gojyo couldn't possibly want this. Strangely enough, Gojyo just lay there; his long dark eyelashes glistened with unshed tears as his own lips shone moistly with Hakkai's saliva.

"Gojyo…"

The redhead flinched, gazing at Hakkai through the mist that disturbed his solitude.

Hakkai rested both of his hands on the firm softness of Gojyo's buttocks. How would it feel to make love to another man? He tested the resiliency of that flesh, guessing that Gojyo was very tight and that no one had ever delved into that area before. A stir of possessiveness jolted Hakkai's heart and his green eyes narrowed thoughtfully. He traced Gojyo's quivering lips with his finger before moving over for another kiss.

It was only a kiss, but it stirred more unrequited emotions within Gojyo than any of his one-night-stands ever had.

As for Hakkai, he had never felt more at peace than he did by unraveling his passion and binding Gojyo in it.

The second time that Hakkai pulled away, it was slightly awkward; Gojyo was clawing at his shoulders, trying to demand more. "Please… Hakkai…" Gojyo never begged for anything but he was already parting his lips in a silent plea.

"Gojyo… you're so beautiful."

Hakkai fondly stroked his fingers through Gojyo's long red hair, noticing the affect that his touch had on the other man. He dismally contemplated what would happen between them in the morning. Whether Gojyo behaved differently towards him or not, their friendship had been irrevocably altered.

Still, Hakkai could not deter himself from stealing another kiss from Gojyo, delighting in the soft velvety feel of the redhead's mouth, the slick texture of tongue-on-tongue, and the quiet moans of enjoyment.

"I don't want you to hate me," Hakkai whispered when he resisted a fourth kiss.

"Why would I hate you?"

"Because, I'm going to want more from you than you're willing to give," he admitted.

"And if I let you?"

That startled Hakkai so much that he nearly flung Gojyo away in order to preserve his self control. "Aren't my kisses enough? Isn't it love that you want? I won't do that to you!"

Showing an odd level of restraint, Gojyo flopped back onto Hakkai, sapped of all his strength. "Yes, more than enough," he gasped, nuzzling the brunette's collarbone. "Too much. It hurts."

"Where?" Hakkai asked in alarm.

"Here." He took hold of Hakkai's hand and placed it over his heart.

"Oh Gojyo, the healing process isn't an immediate thing. If you'll allow me to, I will do whatever I can to take away the hurt." Instead of answering, Gojyo slumped against Hakkai and remained there completely unmoving. "Gojyo?" Hakkai frowned. Just when their conversation had begun to take on meaning, Gojyo had to go and faint. "That's what you should have done in the first place." At least now the redhead would recuperate fractionally before the morning.

As for Hakkai, he couldn't have slept even if he wanted to.

**To be continued...**


End file.
